Working...

I've been a stay at home mom with Brenna for the past year, but the past couple of weeks have had the opportunity to go into the office 1-2 days a week. It sounds like they may offer me the chance to work even more than that this summer. I think I like being at the office, surrounded by fun co-workers, talking about adult subjects, working on things that the progress is measurable... that I actually feel like I can do and do well.

Motherhood is so immeasurable... it is a day in, day out kind of grind. Sometimes thankless. And I definitely don't feel good at it. I have noted many times with my other mother friends that parenthood is one of those jobs where everyone is constantly comparing their ability and their child's abilities with everyone else and coming up short. Probably even the mom with the amazing genius baby who at age 1 can read thinks that she isn't doing something right. The constant interaction with a one year old definitely doesn't come naturally to me. I could handle the baby stages more easily, but as she gets older, I really realize how much I really don't know about teaching her, disciplining her, even playing with her. And often I really dread those things. So the break of the office is really nice, but then along with the enjoying being gone all day comes the guilt... I should WANT to be home with her all day, shouldn't I? Seriously motherhood is a trip...

She fell today from her high chair while I was gone. Thankfully she is ok and wasn't seriously hurt. But how scary is it that she could be seriously hurt while I'm at work (like it would be any better if I was home, ha. I don't have the control anyway)? And then the babysitting thing... gotta figure out someone that I trust to take her during the days.

Things to think about as I re-enter the workforce even on just a part-time basis.

Re-entering

I think I want to start blogging again on a regular basis. I think some form of journaling is good for my brain... helps me think through life, God, etc. Of course because there is the off chance that someone might read my blog, it makes me a little uber focused on how well it is written, but eh, whatever. Does it really matter what anyone else thinks anyway?

I kind of like that blogging is a public forum anyway... there is just something to be said for having your thoughts out there where someone could read them if they want.

So yeah, I guess I could bring my life up to date since 2008.

I've been married now for 4 years... we had our daughter Brenna Carolyn (middle name is after my mom) on April 22, 2011... almost one year ago now. It's crazy to think that she's going to be a year in less than 2 weeks. She's a ball of energy... full of smiles and happy for the most part. Though she's a little bit of a drama queen too! There you go... all caught up! haha.

Sadly, despite my grand intentions of blogging something real and meaningful today, the little bean is now up from her nap, so I guess I must go and hug her.