I haven't used posted in blogspot very much b/c I'm still trying to figure it out. I have blogged for years now on livejournal, but I can't access that site from work, so I think I'm going to try to transition some of the posting to this site. My job is pretty slow, so I need some distraction during the day. Blogging has always served that purpose well (at least until I stopped being able to access LJ from work). So here we go...
It is Friday... yay... favorite day of the work week!
I finally made it to the gym last night for the first time this week. I think i might've hurt my knee though. Hopefully it is just strained a little and will feel better by tomorrow. It is pretty stiff and sore today though.
It has been over 2 years, almost 3 years since my mom died. It'll be three years October 12th. Her birthday was a few weeks ago and since then I've been really missing her. The thing with grief is... (at least my experience so far) is that it ebbs and flows. I am having a hard time describing this the way that I want to... but basically, sometimes dealing with her death is easier than others and lately, it has been really hard. And I feel like people are sick of hearing about it... b/c I'm sick of being sad about it, so how can I expect someone else to want to hear about how sad I am? And I've discovered that it hurts the most when something else goes wrong b/c it reminds me strongly that I don't have her to call and talk to about whatever problem I'm having. So it makes whatever problem I'm having that much worse. And I'm wondering... will this ever stop? I can't remember exactly what she looked like anymore or what she sounds like... I used to hear her voice on my dad's voicemail occasionally, but my dad switched phone services and with that, her recording is gone. I still remember that she loved me and always found the time to listen to whatever problem I was having... even if she was in the middle of something else. That's just not something that is really replaceable. When my mom first died, I asked someone else who had lost a parent a few years before if it got easier... they responded "not easier, but different. You become able to manage it." I suppose that this is what they meant.
On a much lighter note, I really want to figure out somewhere to go out of town on Labor Day weekend. I don't know where, but I want to be out of Charlotte for awhile... perhaps somewhere in the mountains. *shrug* We'll see if I manage it or not. I guess I *could* go see my family (they live in Boone), but that's always stressful, so isn't my top choice really ;).
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
thoughts from a boring day at work
Random thoughts:
* Telemarketers make me crazy. I answer the phone all day long at work and I wish sometimes that I could reach through the phone and strangle them. GRRRR. Why is this method still used as a form of marketing??? I don't know anyone who stays on the phone with them.... do companies actually get results enough to justify paying someone to make those annoying phone calls?
*I have an odd bra size.... which makes buying bras difficult... they rarely fit the way that I want them too. Very frustrating really.
*My co-worker's wife has been having a very troubled pregnancy.... this adds a lot of complication to his life, to my boss's life and thus to mine. We are all hoping she'll continue to be careful and that nothing will go wrong. Baby wants to come too early!
* I have been on a chick-fila kick lately. I literally want it for every meal, but in the name of trying to eat healthily, I've been resisting for the most part. It hasn't helped that I got free coupons in the mail 2x's now. And let me tell you, when you want chick-fila, a Kashi flax seed bar just doesn't measure up. Neither does much else.
*I just finished a book called the Memory Keeper's Daughter. It was amazingly engrossing, yet completely depressing... though it did end on a note of hope. You get wrapped up in the characters' lives, but it is sad how much they f**k'd up, how many rippling aftereffects there are to one bad decision.
*Speaking of reading... I just finished "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I really liked her writing style... she narrates her journey through Italy, India, and Indonesia on her search for God after a messy divorce, heartbreak, and depression. She writes with depth & emotion and the book challenged me to think through what and why I believe what I do. She came to different conclusions about God than I have, but I still enjoyed hearing the search... hearing the struggle to know more about why we are here. And it challenged me to seek a bit more, as the Bible says "Seek first the kingdom of God.."
* I read fast... sometimes I wish that I didn't. I fly through books and I want them to last longer... and I don't have anything to read right now and am in the mood to read something amazing. Any recommendations? To tell the truth, I'll even settle for something halfway decent ;)
* Exercise has been so hit or miss for me lately. I was consistent again for 2 weeks (after about a month off), and this week... I'm back to "enh" about it and haven't been to the gym once. I'm skipping my class tonight again so I can go home and cook. I am going to make stuffed baked chicken, wild rice, and asparagas salad with raspberry cream pie for dessert. Yum... sometimes cooking (eating) just wins over the gyming.
*It has been SO hot here the past couple of weeks. I'm VERY ready for fall.
* I'm also restless this week. I want to go somewhere and do something exciting! I wish I had a fun trip planned or something. One of these days here shortly I need to get my passport updated and plan a trip to the DR to see Christy! That would be an exciting kind of diversion from the blah blah of everyday life.
* Telemarketers make me crazy. I answer the phone all day long at work and I wish sometimes that I could reach through the phone and strangle them. GRRRR. Why is this method still used as a form of marketing??? I don't know anyone who stays on the phone with them.... do companies actually get results enough to justify paying someone to make those annoying phone calls?
*I have an odd bra size.... which makes buying bras difficult... they rarely fit the way that I want them too. Very frustrating really.
*My co-worker's wife has been having a very troubled pregnancy.... this adds a lot of complication to his life, to my boss's life and thus to mine. We are all hoping she'll continue to be careful and that nothing will go wrong. Baby wants to come too early!
* I have been on a chick-fila kick lately. I literally want it for every meal, but in the name of trying to eat healthily, I've been resisting for the most part. It hasn't helped that I got free coupons in the mail 2x's now. And let me tell you, when you want chick-fila, a Kashi flax seed bar just doesn't measure up. Neither does much else.
*I just finished a book called the Memory Keeper's Daughter. It was amazingly engrossing, yet completely depressing... though it did end on a note of hope. You get wrapped up in the characters' lives, but it is sad how much they f**k'd up, how many rippling aftereffects there are to one bad decision.
*Speaking of reading... I just finished "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I really liked her writing style... she narrates her journey through Italy, India, and Indonesia on her search for God after a messy divorce, heartbreak, and depression. She writes with depth & emotion and the book challenged me to think through what and why I believe what I do. She came to different conclusions about God than I have, but I still enjoyed hearing the search... hearing the struggle to know more about why we are here. And it challenged me to seek a bit more, as the Bible says "Seek first the kingdom of God.."
* I read fast... sometimes I wish that I didn't. I fly through books and I want them to last longer... and I don't have anything to read right now and am in the mood to read something amazing. Any recommendations? To tell the truth, I'll even settle for something halfway decent ;)
* Exercise has been so hit or miss for me lately. I was consistent again for 2 weeks (after about a month off), and this week... I'm back to "enh" about it and haven't been to the gym once. I'm skipping my class tonight again so I can go home and cook. I am going to make stuffed baked chicken, wild rice, and asparagas salad with raspberry cream pie for dessert. Yum... sometimes cooking (eating) just wins over the gyming.
*It has been SO hot here the past couple of weeks. I'm VERY ready for fall.
* I'm also restless this week. I want to go somewhere and do something exciting! I wish I had a fun trip planned or something. One of these days here shortly I need to get my passport updated and plan a trip to the DR to see Christy! That would be an exciting kind of diversion from the blah blah of everyday life.
* Sometimes the idea of getting married scares the hell out of me. Some days I'm definitely impatient for it, but others... the thought of never being able to go on a "first date" again and that whole process of having a crush, that little rush of "hmmm... I wonder if he's single, he's cute" every time you meet some new interesting guy, etc. seems sort of sad to leave behind. I guess it is just a new phase of life. BTW, this is all just musing at this point... I'm not getting married just yet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)